Natural Home Birth Story: How I Found Strength through Surrender
This is the natural home birth story of my second daughter, Talitha.
Unlike my first birth story (which you can read here), my dreams of a peaceful, undisturbed delivery did come true! Having a home birth in water was a dramatically different experience than my first.
That being said, I’m not one of those unicorn women who give birth painlessly. The delivery was still painful and a tremendous amount of work!
This time though, I learned some strategies and did some heart work that transformed the laboring experience for me—I will share about that in greater detail below.
One of my favorite ways to prepare for labor is by reading birth stories, so I hope that sharing my experience can be helpful to some of you!
Table of Contents
Learning From My First Birth
If you’ve read my first birth story, you know that with Ruby I went overdue, had prolonged rupture of membranes, and there was a lot of pressure regarding time at her birth.
Even though I believe we were where we needed to be for Ruby’s birth, and I’m grateful for the end result of a healthy baby and a vaginal delivery, I had a lot of emotions to work through before I was ready to try again.
While my sister and husband were so supportive throughout the birth, the time pressure, negativity, and overcrowded feeling was hard to overcome and made the whole experience feel negative.
I began to isolate the causes of that feeling of despair and pressure and realize we might have been able to avoid that entirely. I believe the primary causes of that negative tone were:
- Rotating midwifery care (or group midwifery practice)
- The pressure to give birth before 42 weeks
- The pressure to go into labor within 24 hours of premature rupture of membranes.
The rotating midwifery care was particularly annoying for Ruby’s birth because her delivery stretched over 4 days and I literally had every single midwife that worked at the practice. Each one of them came in with a different perspective on what to do with me, but very little understanding of the whole picture.
These realizations led me to make different choices for my second birth. I wanted to avoid a group midwifery practice, and I still of course wanted to avoid the hospital.
I was born at home, and I had always viewed natural home birth as the best option. I wanted just one midwife who would know my situation well and with whom I could communicate freely.
Preparing Mind, Body, and Spirit for Natural Home Birth
With these goals in mind, I began preparing for a very different birth experience.
I switched to Christian Healthcare Ministry for insurance, as they provided better coverage for home birth.
I researched my options thoroughly and joined local Facebook groups to build connections in the natural home birth community.
As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I reached out to a Certified Nurse Midwife in our area and chose to work with her. Where I am in North Carolina the home birth providers are very scarce, so it was important to make that decision as soon as I could after finding out!
For education and inspiration, my favorite resources this time were:
The Podcast: The Birth Hour
The books:
The Birth Partner: from which I gained a much clearer picture of the stages of labor.
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way: I really appreciated the diagrams showing what directions the muscles of the uterus are pulling during labor. It helped me envision what was really happening in my body!
One of the most important preparations was writing out Ruby’s birth story, which helped me process that experience and clarify what I wanted to do differently this time.
Just as importantly, I focused on spiritual preparation. I searched the Bible for any scripture that could help me prepare for what I was going through.
On my Etsy store, I sell these digital printable Bible verse cards that I used during Talitha’s Labor.
In the product description are the references to the 12 verses I chose to mediate on before and during Talitha’s birth—including the verse my mother meditated on while she gave birth to me!
I also wrote this article with all 12 Bible verses and how I used them.
I also asked my sister Rachel to be present at the birth again, knowing how crucial her support had been the first time.
The Birth Story Begins
Once again, I went overdue—but this time the pressure was not what it had been the first time!
At 41 weeks pregnant, I was eager to meet my baby, and ready to start trying some things to encourage labor!
My sister Rachel was visiting until the 16th, and I wanted her to be present for the birth.
We decided to try my midwife’s pumping protocol to encourage labor, committing to three one-hour sessions throughout the day. (Pro tip: use coconut oil to grease the flanges of the breast pump!!)
Labor Starts: June 12PM
That evening, after watching a movie together, I went to bed around 11 PM.
At 11:30, I was awakened by a strong contraction that threw me onto my hands and knees in bed.
Knowing it could still be a very long time, I didn’t get excited. I just kept going back to sleep after the contractions ended. The contractions continued every 15 minutes, each one waking me up.
It was challenging to “stay on top of” the contractions since I was waking up in pain at the peak of each contraction. I couldn’t find a comfortable position to sleep in.
Josh suggested I try resting in the recliner in our living room in between contractions while he slept nearby on the couch. That was far more comfortable!
I managed to sleep between contractions until about 2 AM, when coping became more difficult again.
Somehow, Rachel sensing my need, happened to wake up and come out to me right when I needed her. She sat next to me, and by listening to my breathing could tell when a contraction was beginning. When one began, she gently placed her hand on my shoulder and breathed slowly. The comfort of her presence and coached breathing made the contractions very bearable for the next couple of hours.
I was still drifting off to sleep in between contractions.
At around 4:30 AM, after a contraction, Rachel told me that the contractions were slowing down to about 30 minutes apart and I should try to sleep in my bed again.
We went back to bed and I was able to sleep from 4:30-6:30 without being woken up.
Early Labor Dance
In the morning, we talked and realized that early labor was definitely underway!
Josh drove Ruby to his parents’ house and made a special trip to Panera for special drinks and orange scones. He got back around noon.
While he was gone, my labor gradually tapered off.
Rachel and I had already planned in advance to continue pumping and trying the miles circuit to optimize the baby’s position that day. We went ahead with that plan.
I felt peaceful during this time, not rushed, trusting in the process. I was enjoying a pleasant morning with my sister.
When Josh returned, he and I took a walk alone on a nearby trail for a couple of hours.
During the walk the contractions returned, and I found myself naturally falling into a beautiful rhythm. I would lean on Josh during contractions, breathing together while listening to the birds and feeling the wind.
I remember a particularly powerful contraction where I opened my eyes and saw the bright blue sky, scattered with wind blown clouds, and swallows wheeling overhead. It felt magical, like I was a part of nature’s rhythms.
The day continued with a perfect balance of activity and rest.
Josh had thoughtfully prepared special snacks to boost morale during labor—a touch that brought lightness and joy to the experience! I snacked on Clif bars, chocolate-covered pomegranate bites, and sips of Gatorade between contractions.
Still, my labor was very sporadic and didn’t show signs of speeding up. There was no trajectory to it. It didn’t hit that 4-1-1 (or 5-1-1) pattern that describes active labor. I wasn’t keeping track of the contraction times at all, but Rachel did for me. We knew I was still in early labor, so we kept things lighthearted and enjoyed the day.
At 4:30, my midwife happened to be driving nearby and stopped to check on me.
She offered a cervical check. I wasn’t sure if I wanted one, but I decided that whatever she found I would be ok with it and not put any pressure on myself.
I was delighted to learn I was 3cm dilated and 80% effaced. Knowing that active labor often starts between 4-6cm, this news encouraged Rachel and me, preparing us that more active labor could begin soon.
My midwife left to have dinner with a friend in the area, and then said she would go back to her home (about 45 minutes away) if nothing changed, to get some rest.
Transition: When Everything Changed
The evening progressed quietly, my contractions completely tapered off once more, but we didn’t worry about it.
We ate Jersey Mikes for dinner, although I noticed my appetite was almost gone and I only ate a couple bites.
We settled down at about 8:40 to watch an episode of Psych. I enjoyed the first ten minutes, relaxed and laughing, when suddenly a powerful contraction hit that was unlike anything I had experienced thus far. It threw me off the couch and onto my hands and knees.
The contractions began coming quickly and intensely, and I started throwing up. I knew something had shifted. We turned off the TV.
Looking back, I believe my labor skipped the “active” phase and went straight from early labor into transition.
Rachel and Josh very quickly decided to call the midwife since I was showing all signs of being in transition.
During this stage, I labored standing, with my arms around Josh’s neck, leaning into him with each contraction. Josh breathed with me while I surrendered to each contraction, and relaxed my body completely.
I found myself focusing intently to cope with each contraction, using the visualization technique I had recently read about in the Bradley Method book. I imagined each contraction as a wave, and I was floating on top of it, just barely slipping over the crest at its peak.
I think God led me to reread that section during my pregnancy, because it was a very effective coping mechanism for me during transition.
Josh and Rachel took turns reading the Bible verses to me during contractions that I had prepared in advance. They were so encouraging and comforting, and helped me continue to have a good mindset.
I remember going to the bathroom during this time, knowing it was important to keep my bladder empty for pushing.
As I experienced the shaking and continued throwing up that characterize transition, I chose to embrace these signs as encouragement rather than let them overwhelm me. This mental shift—surrendering to and welcoming each physical sign of progress—transformed my mental state into a positive one.
Meeting Talitha
The midwife arrived at 10pm, and helped us finish setting up the birth pool.
In the hour since we had called her, Josh and Rachel had tried to set it up but labor had been so intense they had not been able to make progress!
There were some challenges to setting up the pool, and Josh had to leave me for a couple of contractions to help. That was hard for me.
The birth pool was ready around 11 PM, and I got right in.
I was immediately disappointed that the water didn’t provide the kind of relief I had hoped for.
I still remember thinking “Great. Now I’m in pain AND wet!”
But then I thought—since I was in transition, probably nothing would make much of a difference at this point!
I was very cold in the water. At first I just got in with a bra on, but then Josh put his t-shirt on me to warm me up.
Josh got into the birth pool and I leaned over him on my knees for the rest of the labor. I deeply appreciated when the midwife and her assistants gave us space, retreating to the guest room and allowing me to labor undisturbed.
At about 11:45, I felt a distinct shift in the labor. I began to feel the pressure from the baby’s head shifting into the birth canal during contractions. Maybe it was the water, but I could clearly feel my baby’s positioning throughout the whole pushing stage.
Pushing was a lot more uncomfortable than I remember with Ruby’s birth. It felt more wild and out of my control.
When the midwives heard me grunting, they all came running out of the guest room to set things up for the baby’s arrival!
The midwife asked me if I wanted to get out of the pool, or deliver the baby in the water. I had asked her to give me the option when pushing started, but I was so completely in labor-land when it came down to it that I looked to Josh and asked him to decide! He said things were going well where we are, and to stay put.
I was so excited to be getting close to the end, I felt almost triumphant, very calm, and very determined.
I tried various techniques: pushing, holding my breath, being very vocal…but the one that seemed to make the most progress was *not* pushing while panting through a contraction. I could feel her sliding down much further with that method. I think it kept me more relaxed.
I must have pushed for about 30 minutes. I began to feel the ring of fire.
The sensation grew stronger over a number of contractions and I tried my best not to rush it, but to let myself stretch out slowly. If I pushed at all I tried to be very gentle so as not to tear.
Talitha’s head eventually came out—but only halfway! This was very unexpected for me, and I felt urgent about the fact that she was halfway in and halfway out.
I asked the midwife if she was okay. She calmly assured me everything was fine and told me to wait for the next contraction. When it didn’t come quickly enough, she had me try nipple stimulation, which triggered a strong contraction. I pushed with that contraction and her chin popped out!
I may have pushed too hard in my urgency to get her head the rest of the way out, because I did end up with another 2nd degree tear.
After one more contraction her body slipped out. Rachel and the midwife guided her under the water, through my legs, up to my chest.
Talitha was born at 12:27 AM on June 14th—Flag Day—which inspired Josh to suggest “Liberty” as her middle name. I immediately agreed. She weighed 7lbs10oz and was 20.5 inches long.
Our sweet girl was so peaceful, she hardly seemed to know she had been born, and just nestled right into me with her eyes shut.
It seemed to take a long time, but eventually she did cry.
She looked so different from my first baby! She had a beautiful head of hair. Right away we noticed the hair on the crown of her head stuck straight up, I thought that was so cute!
Golden Hour and Beyond
After the birth, I began feeling cold and uncomfortable in the water waiting for the placenta to deliver.
Eventually, we moved to the bed, where I felt immediate relief once the placenta finally came. Talitha nursed quickly and well.
The midwives finished their post-birth care, doing routine checks on the baby, and stitching me up. They helped me shower off in my own shower.
Finally, I found myself exactly where I had imagined throughout my pregnancy—in my own bed, cuddled up with my new baby and husband.
The moment was particularly poignant. I felt so blessed to have the precious child in my arms that we thought we had lost all those months ago. I felt so grateful that the Lord had helped me not suffer the way I did with my first birth.
Thanks be to God!
What Made This Birth Different: Key Strategies That Transformed My Experience
Looking back, several key elements transformed this birth experience:
Spiritual Anchors:
- Having prepared Bible verses to meditate on beforehand, and printed out so my birth team could read them to me during labor.
Mental Techniques:
- Visualizing contractions as waves to ride
- Visualizing the way my muscles were working at the different stages of labor.
- Surrendering to the process and welcoming the sensations
- Staying present in the moment.
Environmental Control
- The comfort of being in my own home
- Freedom to move and labor as I needed
- No disruptions from travel or hospital procedures
- Ability to maintain focus and rhythm
Team Dynamics
- Josh’s supportive presence and special preparation of morale boosting labor snacks
- Rachel’s intuitive understanding of my needs
- The midwife’s respect for my space
What did I think about Water Birth?
Honestly, I am not planning to use a birth tub again.
After giving it a fair shot for two of my labors, I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t do that much for me.
That being said, I don’t really love getting wet. If you are someone that finds water very therapeutic, maybe it would do more for you!
If I want to use water as a pain management tool in the future I plan to get in a hot shower.
Although I have heard that water birth is safe, I felt that anecdotally I observed a difference. My “land baby” cried more heartily when she was first born, and that seemed to clear her lungs out more thoroughly.
Talitha coughed up quite a bit of mucous the next day, and looking back I don’t think she had a hearty enough cry when she was first born. Fortunately I was there with her when it happened, but I felt nervous wondering what could have happened if I had been out of the room.
I feel like there are some benefits to the shock of transitioning from the womb to the air.
Reflection and Encouragement
This birth reinforced a truth that I already had faith in:
While labor is inherently challenging, the environment and support system can dramatically impact how it is experienced!
The ability to stay focused and undisturbed allowed me to embrace rather than resist the process. Having a birth team that respected my space while remaining attentive to my needs created an atmosphere of safety and peace.
Thanks be to God for helping me achieve the birth experience I had hoped for, and for blessing us with our precious Talitha Dawn Liberty!
Through this journey, I learned that birth can be both intensely challenging and deeply beautiful—sometimes in the very same moment.